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My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Gay
London
Comedy
Went
Bigs
Find
Cousins
Cousin
Clock
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
My cousin is gay, in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies.
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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
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This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
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You don't know who to believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He said all men were created equal. He never went to a nude beach.
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I asked my wife, 'Is there somebody else?' She said, 'There MUST be.'
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She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
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I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.
Rodney Dangerfield
Well with girls I don't get no respect. I had a blind date. I waited two hours on the corner. A girl walked by. I said Are you Louise? She said, Are you Rodney? I said, Yeah. She said, I'm not Louise.
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I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.
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Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.
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One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.
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I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me.
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I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.
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When I go to a nude beach, I always take a ruler, just in case I have to prove something.
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I was an ugly kid when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.
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When it comes to sex, at my age I like threesomes. In case one of us dies.
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
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I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.
Rodney Dangerfield
Cars and women are a lot alike. They lie about the milage.
Rodney Dangerfield
