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My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Clock
Gay
London
Comedy
Went
Bigs
Find
Cousins
Cousin
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I asked him Who said you could fool around with my wife he said everybody.
Rodney Dangerfield
If you could learn to make love, I could fire the chauffer.
Rodney Dangerfield
I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west.
Rodney Dangerfield
She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.
Rodney Dangerfield
My sex life is terrible my wife put a mirror over the dog's bed. Actually she did put a mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.
Rodney Dangerfield
Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!
Rodney Dangerfield
I'd like to get some new clothes, but I can't find a Big and Short store.
Rodney Dangerfield
At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't.
Rodney Dangerfield
I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!
Rodney Dangerfield
I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor they sent a priest up to talk to me and he said, ' On your mark...'
Rodney Dangerfield
I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.
Rodney Dangerfield
Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I was a kid, I never went to Disneyland. My ol' man told me Mickey Mouse died in a cancer experiment.
Rodney Dangerfield
I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others. He gave my one with four cavities.
Rodney Dangerfield
A hooker once told me she had a headache.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.
Rodney Dangerfield
Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.
Rodney Dangerfield
When it comes to sex, at my age I like threesomes. In case one of us dies.
Rodney Dangerfield
I say 'no' to drugs. Whenever someone asks me for some of my drugs I say, 'no.
Rodney Dangerfield
