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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Wife
Lips
Dog
Tough
Married
Couple
Kisses
Marriage
Glass
Drink
Glasses
Stay
Kissing
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
When I was a kid I got no respect. I had no friends. I remember the see-saw. I had to keep runnin' from one end to the other.
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We were poor. we were so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.
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I joined gamblers anon., they gave me 2 to 1 I wouldn't make it! I joined AA, there was a two drink minimum!
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I told my kids, Someday, you'll have kids of your own. One of them said, So will you.
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I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, Wait til it gets warmer.
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What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.
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I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, Are you going to hate yourself in the morning? She said, No, I hate myself now.
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My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark
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With girls I get no respect. A belly dancer told me I turned her stomach.
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My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked, and now she's afraid of the light.
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One day as I came home early, I saw a man jogging naked. I said to the guy, 'Hey, buddy, why are you doing that?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'
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I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me.
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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.
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You live with life's disappointments and learn from them. At seventy-eight, I know it all.
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Cars and women are a lot alike. They lie about the milage.
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I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
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I figured out I'm bisexual. I have sex twice a year.
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I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
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His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings.
Rodney Dangerfield
