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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Drink
Glasses
Stay
Kissing
Wife
Lips
Dog
Tough
Married
Couple
Kisses
Marriage
Glass
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I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. I had no friends. I remember the see-saw. I had to keep runnin' from one end to the other.
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You take care and I hope I'll run into you - when I'm driving.
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Hey, did somebody step on a duck?
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I tell ya when I fly, I don't get no respect. I took one of those cheap flights, no frills. I finished eatin' and had to do the dishes.
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My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!
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I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.
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I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
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A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, Man, I wish I had your willpower.
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I have tried a little kinky stuff. A woman called me and said, 'I have mirrors all over my bedroom. Bring a bottle.' I brought Windex.
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With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, How can I get my kite in the air? He told me to run off a cliff.
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