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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Went
Sports
Games
Fighting
Hockey
Night
Fighter
Broke
Fight
Game
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I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.
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All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.
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I say 'no' to drugs. Whenever someone asks me for some of my drugs I say, 'no.
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I tell ya, southern people, they always think you are hard-of-hearing. Every timr you leave they say to you, You come back, you hear? And southern people, they think you are horny too. You get directions, they say, Just up the road apiece.
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Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.
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I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, Wait til it gets warmer.
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I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor they sent a priest up to talk to me and he said, ' On your mark...'
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You know you're old when your family talk about you in front of you. What are we going to do with Pop? We have company tonight.
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