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I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice. I don't know if I'm coming or going.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Coming
Going
Prune
Prunes
Wordplay
Viagra
Juice
Drinking
Taking
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I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!
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I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.
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I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again.
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If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
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And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!
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I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough.
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I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.
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School is a place were you go to eat your lunch
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