Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
Rodney Dangerfield
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Found
Sap
Witty
Forests
Humorous
Looked
Tree
Funny
Family
Genealogy
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.
Rodney Dangerfield
What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.
Rodney Dangerfield
One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.
Rodney Dangerfield
One day as I came home early, I saw a man jogging naked. I said to the guy, 'Hey, buddy, why are you doing that?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'
Rodney Dangerfield
I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor they sent a priest up to talk to me and he said, ' On your mark...'
Rodney Dangerfield
I got myself good this morning too. I did my pushups in the nude, I didn't see the mouse trap.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
Rodney Dangerfield
I say 'no' to drugs. Whenever someone asks me for some of my drugs I say, 'no.
Rodney Dangerfield
Cars and women are a lot alike. They lie about the milage.
Rodney Dangerfield
Oh, I was an ugly kid. My old man took me to the zoo. They thanked him for returning me.
Rodney Dangerfield
I tell ya when I fly, I don't get no respect. I took one of those cheap flights, no frills. I finished eatin' and had to do the dishes.
Rodney Dangerfield
Life is just a bowl of pits.
Rodney Dangerfield
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
Rodney Dangerfield
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
Rodney Dangerfield
Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in advance.
Rodney Dangerfield
For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked, and now she's afraid of the light.
Rodney Dangerfield
With my old man I got no respect. He told me never take candy from a stranger unless he offered me a ride.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife says 90% of sex occurs between the ears. But I need a girl who can blow more just my mind.
Rodney Dangerfield
