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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Found
Sap
Witty
Forests
Humorous
Looked
Tree
Funny
Family
Genealogy
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
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With my old man I got no respect. He told me never take candy from a stranger unless he offered me a ride.
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If you could learn to make love, I could fire the chauffer.
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My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.
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I told my wife 'hey honey come on, let's make love like the old days.' She asked me for 50 bucks.
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I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me.
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
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If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.
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My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
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I'm sitting on top of the world, and I've got hemorrhoids.
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My kids scotch tape worms to the sidewalk and watch the birds get hernias.
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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again.
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I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar!
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Oh, when I was a kid, I was poor. Christmas, I got no presents. Well, there was one Christmas, on our front lawn - Prancer and Dancer - they dropped off a little something.
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I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice. I don't know if I'm coming or going.
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One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her you cooked it, you take it out.
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School is a place were you go to eat your lunch
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My cousin is gay, in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies.
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My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
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