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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Tree
Funny
Family
Genealogy
Found
Sap
Witty
Forests
Humorous
Looked
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
I have tried a little kinky stuff. A woman called me and said, 'I have mirrors all over my bedroom. Bring a bottle.' I brought Windex.
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When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.
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My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
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I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out.
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This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh!
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It was the same thing in the army, no respect. They gave me a uniform that glowed in the dark.
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My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
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I asked him Who said you could fool around with my wife he said everybody.
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Well with girls I don't get no respect. I had a blind date. I waited two hours on the corner. A girl walked by. I said Are you Louise? She said, Are you Rodney? I said, Yeah. She said, I'm not Louise.
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My son's an idiot. He sprained his ankle playing golf. He fell off the ballwasher.
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I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.
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My kids scotch tape worms to the sidewalk and watch the birds get hernias.
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
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School is a place were you go to eat your lunch
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When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.
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I'd like to get some new clothes, but I can't find a Big and Short store.
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I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.
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My wife is so fat that when she lays on the beach the people feel sorry for her and try to roll her back into the water.
Rodney Dangerfield