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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Forests
Humorous
Looked
Tree
Funny
Family
Genealogy
Found
Sap
Witty
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?'
Rodney Dangerfield
I don't get no respect
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Life is full of temporary situations, ultimately ending in a permanent solution.
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I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
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I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.
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It's lonely on the top when there's no one on the bottom.
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My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
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Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe.
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What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.
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Never guess your wife's size. Just buy anything marked petite and hold on to the receipt.
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Man, who don't like spaghetti?
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At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't.
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My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.
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With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.
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My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.
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A man in the crowd asks: Hey Rodney, how'd you get started? Rodney: I was 12 years old, alone in my room, and I got started!
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For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
Rodney Dangerfield
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
Rodney Dangerfield
When it comes to sex, at my age I like threesomes. In case one of us dies.
Rodney Dangerfield
To give you an idea how well I was doing at the time I quit, I was the only one who knew I quit.
Rodney Dangerfield
