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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Urine
Drinking
Olive
Gave
Olives
Drink
Sample
Party
Drunkenness
Lasts
Drank
Last
Beer
Much
Time
Alcohol
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I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is don't tell the butcher!
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I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.
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I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out.
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When I was a kid, I never went to Disneyland. My ol' man told me Mickey Mouse died in a cancer experiment.
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I was an ugly kid when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
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Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
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At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't.
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