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I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Haven
Interrupt
Marriage
Talkers
Silence
Hilarious
Wife
Sarcasm
Funny
Sarcastic
Didn
Favourite
Women
Spoken
Chatterbox
Years
Havens
Interrupting
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?'
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She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.
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When I was a kid, I never went to Disneyland. My ol' man told me Mickey Mouse died in a cancer experiment.
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My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
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You don't know who to believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He said all men were created equal. He never went to a nude beach.
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He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.
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I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!
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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
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If you could learn to make love, I could fire the chauffer.
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They say love thy neighbor as thy self , what am I supposed to do jerk him off too?
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One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh!
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My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.
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What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.
Rodney Dangerfield
School is a place were you go to eat your lunch
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She was so fat that her clothes are made by Omar the tent maker.
Rodney Dangerfield
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
Rodney Dangerfield
For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
Rodney Dangerfield
