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I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Didn
Favourite
Women
Spoken
Chatterbox
Years
Havens
Interrupting
Haven
Interrupt
Marriage
Talkers
Silence
Hilarious
Wife
Sarcasm
Funny
Sarcastic
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
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Life is full of temporary situations, ultimately ending in a permanent solution.
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I told my wife 'hey honey come on, let's make love like the old days.' She asked me for 50 bucks.
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
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I know I'm not sexy. In high school I was voted Most Likely to Masturbate.
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What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.
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My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
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I can't get no respect.
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Cars and women are a lot alike. They lie about the milage.
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Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.
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I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
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All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.
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If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.
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I get no respect... I tell you, when I was born, the doctor smacked my mother
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I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.
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I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.
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This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
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I tell ya, southern people, they always think you are hard-of-hearing. Every timr you leave they say to you, You come back, you hear? And southern people, they think you are horny too. You get directions, they say, Just up the road apiece.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.
Rodney Dangerfield
