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I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Haven
Interrupt
Marriage
Talkers
Silence
Hilarious
Wife
Sarcasm
Funny
Sarcastic
Didn
Favourite
Women
Spoken
Chatterbox
Years
Havens
Interrupting
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.
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Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.
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Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.
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She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.
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I can't get no respect.
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I tell ya when I fly, I don't get no respect. I took one of those cheap flights, no frills. I finished eatin' and had to do the dishes.
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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
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You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, The car behind me is paying for two.
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My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
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I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
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I asked him Who said you could fool around with my wife he said everybody.
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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!
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To give you an idea how well I was doing at the time I quit, I was the only one who knew I quit.
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She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
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I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, Wait til it gets warmer.
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You live with life's disappointments and learn from them. At seventy-eight, I know it all.
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When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
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