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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield
Age: 82 †
Born: 1921
Born: November 22
Died: 2004
Died: October 5
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Town of Babylon
New York
Jacob Rodney Cohen
Jack Roy
Looks
Thin
Way
Fats
People
Witty
Hang
Humorous
Funny
Found
Look
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.
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I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
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It was the same thing in the army, no respect. They gave me a uniform that glowed in the dark.
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Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?'
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She was so fat that her clothes are made by Omar the tent maker.
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If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.
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I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.
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She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo.
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This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
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My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
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When I was a kid, I never went to Disneyland. My ol' man told me Mickey Mouse died in a cancer experiment.
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At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.
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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
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I come from a stupid family. My uncle heard that most deaths occurs within ten miles of the house...so he moved.
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My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
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My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
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I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.
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I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.
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I was making love to my wife the other night, I looked up. She was on the phone.
Rodney Dangerfield
