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After I quit drinking, I realized I am the same asshole I always was I just have fewer dents in my car.
Robin Williams
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Robin Williams
Age: 63 †
Born: 1951
Born: July 21
Died: 2014
Died: August 11
Actor
Audiobook Narrator
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Mime Artist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Chicago
Illinois
Robin McLaurin Williams
Drinking
Car
Always
Asshole
Quit
Fewer
Quitting
Realized
More quotes by Robin Williams
Anything that is not funny at a certain point will be funny.
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Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it 'all the money,' but they changed it to 'alimony.' It's ripping your heart out through your wallet.
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Don't mess with me, man, I'm a lawyer!
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Taking Viagra after open heart surgery is like a Civil War re-enactment with live ammo. Not good.
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Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.
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With a bike you go from zero to a hundred in terms of mobility.
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Nobody takes a picture of something they want to forget.
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I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.
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But only in their dreams can men be truly free. It was always thus and always thus will be.
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The little idiosyncrasies that only I know about: that's what made her my wife. Oh she had the goods on me too, she knew all my little peccadilloes. People call these things imperfections, but they're not. Ah, that's the good stuff!
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Comedy pays the bills if I can't find a film.
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I've never had a hankering to direct. I can perform, but I can't write on that level. I tend to go off on tangents. Directing also requires a kind of specificity and I don't have it.
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We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
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Ballet: men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are.
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Finding a good script is really difficult and the scariest thing of all is when they say about a script that's not right, we will fix it.. It's like before you get on the Titanic and you see a big hole. In process, it's too late.
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After my training wheels, my first real bike was a Schwinn, and my first time out, I rode down a hill, didn’t know how to stop, and ran right into a tree. So, that was a nice experience ... like realizing, oh, there are brakes!
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I used food to make myself feel better, but I felt worse when I ate.
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How much more can you give? Other than, literally, open-heart surgery onstage? Not much. But the only cure you have right now is the honesty of going, this is who you are. I know who I am.
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We Americans, we're a simple people . . . but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.
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When I'm riding my bicycle I feel like a Buddhist who is happy just to enjoy his mundane existence
Robin Williams
