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I had sex with a prostitute when I was 21, I was so bad, she gave me a refund.

Robin Williams

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Robin Williams
Age: 63 †
Born: 1951
Born: July 21
Died: 2014
Died: August 11
Actor
Audiobook Narrator
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Mime Artist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Chicago
Illinois
Robin McLaurin Williams
Refund
Refunds
Prostitute
Sex
Gave

More quotes by Robin Williams

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You know what music is? God's little reminder that there's something else besides us in this universe harmonic connection between all living beings, every where, even the stars.
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For me, comedy starts as a spew, a kind of explosion, and then you sculpt it from there, if at all. It comes out of a deeper, darker side. Maybe it comes from anger, because I'm outraged by cruel absurdities, the hypocrisy that exists everywhere, even within yourself, where it's hardest to see.
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My favorite is when you go to Afghanistan and you meet the special forces guys, and they look like these heavily armed surfers. These guys are the best. You see guys dressed as full Afghans, but then wearing a Yankees hat.
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You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.
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Cable is not bound because people pay for it. It's literally a choice, that's the operative word. If you don't like the language, if cocksucker offends you, then turn it off.
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After I quit drinking, I realized I am the same asshole I always was I just have fewer dents in my car.
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That's the formaldehyde. That's why Granny's so well-preserved.
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Don't associate yourself with toxic people. It's better to be alone and love yourself than surrounded by people that make you hate yourself.
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She is not perfect. You are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other
Robin Williams
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I can be trained, I can actually show you how intelligent I am, I can use a word like delicatessen and know what it means.
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Compassionate conservative. I don't know what that is, it sounds like a Volvo with a gun rack.
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I love running cross-country...You come up a hill and see two deer going, 'What the hell is he doing?' On a track I feel like a hamster.
Robin Williams
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A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills, no, no. They'd make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while.
Robin Williams
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Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
Robin Williams
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Finding a good script is really difficult and the scariest thing of all is when they say about a script that's not right, we will fix it.. It's like before you get on the Titanic and you see a big hole. In process, it's too late.
Robin Williams
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It doesn't matter who you are, if you've got the legs, you can hang with them.
Robin Williams
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Stand-up is the place where you can do things that you could never do in public.
Robin Williams
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Women have so many levels. There's the physical level, which is a lot of fun. There's this emotional level, which is extremely mercurial.
Robin Williams
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The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'
Robin Williams
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Just now when I said, I have a crush on you, you didn't say, no way loser. I'd rather have a lobotomy by a leper. That means something
Robin Williams