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Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it 'all the money,' but they changed it to 'alimony.' It's ripping your heart out through your wallet.
Robin Williams
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Robin Williams
Age: 63 †
Born: 1951
Born: July 21
Died: 2014
Died: August 11
Actor
Audiobook Narrator
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Mime Artist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Chicago
Illinois
Robin McLaurin Williams
Changed
Alimony
Call
Ripping
Money
Wallet
Used
Wallets
Heart
Divorce
Going
Joke
Expensive
Jokes
More quotes by Robin Williams
The little idiosyncrasies that only I know about: that's what made her my wife. Oh she had the goods on me too, she knew all my little peccadilloes. People call these things imperfections, but they're not. Ah, that's the good stuff!
Robin Williams
Most of all, I want to thank my father, up there, the man who when I said I wanted to be an actor, he said, 'Wonderful. Just have a back-up profession like welding.'
Robin Williams
Don't mess with me, man, I'm a lawyer!
Robin Williams
If you want to die, don't make a mistake and not quite kill yourself because the medical bills in America are hideous.
Robin Williams
If you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? Carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary.
Robin Williams
The first time I ate organic whole-grain bread I swear it tasted like roofing material.
Robin Williams
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
Robin Williams
My favorite is when you go to Afghanistan and you meet the special forces guys, and they look like these heavily armed surfers. These guys are the best. You see guys dressed as full Afghans, but then wearing a Yankees hat.
Robin Williams
Please, don't worry so much. Because in the end, none of us have very long on this Earth. Life is fleeting.
Robin Williams
When the Williams sisters play tennis, it gets pretty hot. When they start grunting, I'm in.
Robin Williams
I basically started performing for my mother, going, 'Love me!' What drives you to perform is the need for that primal connection. When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person.
Robin Williams
You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer.
Robin Williams
Is it rude to Twitter during sex? To go omg, omg, wtf, zzz? Is that rude?
Robin Williams
And some people say Jesus wasn't Jewish. Of COURSE he was Jewish! 30 years old, single, lives with his parents, come on! He works in his father's business, his mom thought he was God's gift, he's Jewish! Give it up!
Robin Williams
I always wanted to play a big, black man, but that would cost too much make-up.
Robin Williams
Three wishes - no substitutes, exchanges or refunds
Robin Williams
You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.
Robin Williams
Don't associate yourself with toxic people. It's better to be alone and love yourself than surrounded by people that make you hate yourself.
Robin Williams
You might say he was one taco short of a combination platter.
Robin Williams
You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying attention to.
Robin Williams
