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When in doubt, go for the dick joke.

Robin Williams

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Robin Williams
Age: 63 †
Born: 1951
Born: July 21
Died: 2014
Died: August 11
Actor
Audiobook Narrator
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Mime Artist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Chicago
Illinois
Robin McLaurin Williams
Jokes
Doubt
Dick
Joke

More quotes by Robin Williams

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Taking Viagra after open heart surgery is like a Civil War re-enactment with live ammo. Not good.
Robin Williams
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My battles with addiction definitely shaped how I am now. They really made me deeply appreciate human contact. And the value of friends and family, how precious that is.
Robin Williams
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That's the formaldehyde. That's why Granny's so well-preserved.
Robin Williams
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The first time I ate organic whole-grain bread I swear it tasted like roofing material.
Robin Williams
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My favorite is when you go to Afghanistan and you meet the special forces guys, and they look like these heavily armed surfers. These guys are the best. You see guys dressed as full Afghans, but then wearing a Yankees hat.
Robin Williams
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I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.
Robin Williams
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Nobody takes a picture of something they want to forget.
Robin Williams
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Mr. Keating: Carpe Diem! Sieze the day!
Robin Williams
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Here's the best birth control in the whole world, if you really, if you have no pills, if you have no diaphragm, if you have no other form of contraception. Use it for ladies, if he comes at you with that little thing in his hand, just laugh at it. They can't deal with it, OK, it'll be gone.
Robin Williams
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My preference is live performance, because you get the feedback. There's an energy. It's live theater. That's why I think actors like that.
Robin Williams
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When the Williams sisters play tennis, it gets pretty hot. When they start grunting, I'm in.
Robin Williams
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If you don't keep pushing the limits, you wake up one day and you're the center square to block.
Robin Williams
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Even evangelicals realize that Pinocchio's father was a carpenter too. That's the old joke.
Robin Williams
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Directing requires great discipline, that ability to be in and out at the same time. The great ones I've worked with are like generals. It's a bit like a small war on that level. The great ones have that combination of freedom and control. I'm nowhere near that. There's still so much to do as an actor. I have enough to explore with that.
Robin Williams
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Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
Robin Williams
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Explore an idea until you've exhausted it, really go to all the different parameters of it.
Robin Williams
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My preference is live performance. Because you get the feedback. There's an energy. It's live theater. That's why I think actors like that. You know, musicians need it, comedians definitely need it. It doesn't matter what size and what club, whether it's 30 people in the club or 2,000 in a hall or a theater. It's live, it's symbiotic, you need it.
Robin Williams
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Gentlemen, haven't we learned anything from the music of John Lennon? All we need is love.
Robin Williams
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When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?
Robin Williams
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In America, they really do mythologize people when they die.
Robin Williams