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When in doubt, go for the dick joke.

Robin Williams

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Robin Williams
Age: 63 †
Born: 1951
Born: July 21
Died: 2014
Died: August 11
Actor
Audiobook Narrator
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Mime Artist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Chicago
Illinois
Robin McLaurin Williams
Dick
Joke
Jokes
Doubt

More quotes by Robin Williams

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Three wishes - no substitutes, exchanges or refunds
Robin Williams
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Sometimes with a comedy it's just having the instinct of how real you play it and what level you want it.
Robin Williams
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What's true in our minds is true, whether some people know it or not.
Robin Williams
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My preference is live performance, because you get the feedback. There's an energy. It's live theater. That's why I think actors like that.
Robin Williams
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You treat a disease, you win, you lose. You treat a person, I guarantee you, you'll win, no matter what the outcome.
Robin Williams
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Avoid using the word 'very' because it's lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don't use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason boys - to woo women - and in that endeavor, laziness will not do.
Robin Williams
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Carpe per diem - seize the check.
Robin Williams
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And some people say Jesus wasn't Jewish. Of COURSE he was Jewish! 30 years old, single, lives with his parents, come on! He works in his father's business, his mom thought he was God's gift, he's Jewish! Give it up!
Robin Williams
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You're going to the cemetery with your toothbrush. How Egyptian
Robin Williams
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A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills, no, no. They'd make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while.
Robin Williams
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Now you can't even carry a nail clipper on a plane. Are they afraid you're going to go...All right! Give me the plane or the b*tch loses her cuticle. ?
Robin Williams
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When I'm riding my bicycle I feel like a Buddhist who is happy just to enjoy his mundane existence
Robin Williams
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My preference is live performance. Because you get the feedback. There's an energy. It's live theater. That's why I think actors like that. You know, musicians need it, comedians definitely need it. It doesn't matter what size and what club, whether it's 30 people in the club or 2,000 in a hall or a theater. It's live, it's symbiotic, you need it.
Robin Williams
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There's no shame in failing. The only shame is not giving things your best shot.
Robin Williams
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If I asked you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell.
Robin Williams
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Finding a good script is really difficult and the scariest thing of all is when they say about a script that's not right, we will fix it.. It's like before you get on the Titanic and you see a big hole. In process, it's too late.
Robin Williams
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Just now when I said, I have a crush on you, you didn't say, no way loser. I'd rather have a lobotomy by a leper. That means something
Robin Williams
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If women ran the world there would be no wars. However every 28 days there would be some very intense negotiations.
Robin Williams
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Dreams don't deal in time. Time doesn't count.
Robin Williams
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We Americans, we're a simple people . . . but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.
Robin Williams