Quote

Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.

Robert Orben

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Woman
Valentine
Perfume
Sent
Divorce
Cards
Lawyer
Guess
Hear
Signed

More quotes by Robert Orben

Image
In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
Robert Orben
Image
It always seems to someone outside the business that it is very difficult to write for a comedy show because it must be done quickly. Actually, it is much easier to write this humor than to do a joke or a show from scratch, because the audience knows the plot. Just mention what is going on and then deliver the punch line.
Robert Orben
Image
Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.
Robert Orben
Image
Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
Robert Orben
Image
The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.
Robert Orben
Image
THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
Robert Orben
Image
Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
Robert Orben
Image
Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
Robert Orben
Image
Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
Robert Orben
Image
I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
Robert Orben
Image
There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
Robert Orben
Image
Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
Robert Orben
Image
If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.
Robert Orben
Image
To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Robert Orben
Image
Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always high, and the results usually disappointing.
Robert Orben
Image
The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
Robert Orben
Image
To exercise is human not to is divine.
Robert Orben
Image
Individuality' is the key to success.
Robert Orben
Image
Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
Robert Orben
Image
For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.
Robert Orben