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Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Perfume
Sent
Divorce
Cards
Lawyer
Guess
Hear
Signed
Woman
Valentine

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To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
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The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
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Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.
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THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
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I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
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Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
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President Ford used humor a great deal.
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Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice.
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Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
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Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
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The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
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Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
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Wait'll next year! is the favorite cry of baseball fans, football fans, hockey fans, and gardeners.
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Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
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Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
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Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.
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