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I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Yesterday
Beginning
Hundred
Told
Broker
Share
Brokers
Wonder
Shares
Would
Spell
Spells

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It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.
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Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
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Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
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Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
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Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.
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Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
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To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
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They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.
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We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally, I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.
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Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.
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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
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Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
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A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.
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Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
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Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like it there's no faking it.
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Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.
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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
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I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.
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The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.
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Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
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