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I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
Robert Orben
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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Beginning
Hundred
Told
Broker
Share
Brokers
Wonder
Shares
Would
Spell
Spells
Yesterday
More quotes by Robert Orben
Anybody with a good sense of humor is one-up on their competition. We respond to somebody who has the ability to make us laugh. It's a bonding influence.
Robert Orben
Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
Robert Orben
Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
Robert Orben
President Ford used humor a great deal.
Robert Orben
The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.
Robert Orben
Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.
Robert Orben
Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?
Robert Orben
Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.
Robert Orben
If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.
Robert Orben
In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
Robert Orben
THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
Robert Orben
The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
Robert Orben
Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'
Robert Orben
There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
Robert Orben
Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like it there's no faking it.
Robert Orben
Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
Robert Orben
Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always high, and the results usually disappointing.
Robert Orben
Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.
Robert Orben
Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
Robert Orben
All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
Robert Orben