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I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Beginning
Hundred
Told
Broker
Share
Brokers
Wonder
Shares
Would
Spell
Spells
Yesterday

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They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.
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Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?
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They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.
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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
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It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.
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A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.
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Individuality' is the key to success.
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Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.
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For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.
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A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.
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Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains.... But it can put mountains where there are none. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
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Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.
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To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
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We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally, I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.
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I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
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Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
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Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
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There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.
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Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
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When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.
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