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Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Americans
Sports
Eyes
Hockey
Eye
Muscles
Like
Strongest
World
Develop
Basketball
Baseball

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Wait'll next year! is the favorite cry of baseball fans, football fans, hockey fans, and gardeners.
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Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.
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Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.
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Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
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Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.
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It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.
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If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
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Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
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The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
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They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.
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Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
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Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.
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Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?
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I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there's never one around.
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If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.
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For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.
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My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
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If you can laugh together, you can work together.
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