Quote

For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
English
Cologne
Called
Wallet
Father
Wallets
Kids
Leather
Give
Bottle
Giving
Bottles
Always
Appropriate
Like
Smell

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Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.
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The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
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Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
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Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like it there's no faking it.
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The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
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We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.
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Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice.
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The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.
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Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
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Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
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If you can laugh together, you can work together.
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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
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President Ford used humor a great deal.
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Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.
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Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
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Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
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I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
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