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Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.
Robert Orben
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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Drink
Lane
Need
Lanes
Needs
Grave
Work
Passings
Much
Graves
Smoke
Passing
Road
More quotes by Robert Orben
Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
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A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.
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Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
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Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.
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They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.
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Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.
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Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.
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Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always high, and the results usually disappointing.
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Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
Robert Orben
I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
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Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
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I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there's never one around.
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It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.
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In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
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Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
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Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.
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I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
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Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?
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I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.
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Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.
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