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Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.
Robert Orben
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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Needs
Grave
Work
Passings
Much
Graves
Smoke
Passing
Road
Drink
Lane
Need
Lanes
More quotes by Robert Orben
Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
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Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?
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As much as we admire all the characteristics of a Ronald Reagan, as soon as something goes wrong, people will hate those same characteristics.
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Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.
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Lincoln was known to have walked miles to borrow books, to get the most rudimentary form of education. So what do we do on his birthday? We close the schools!
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Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
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Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.
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They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.
Robert Orben
If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.
Robert Orben
Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.
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Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?
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Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like it there's no faking it.
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Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.
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Individuality' is the key to success.
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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
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What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?
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Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.
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Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
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Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
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It always seems to someone outside the business that it is very difficult to write for a comedy show because it must be done quickly. Actually, it is much easier to write this humor than to do a joke or a show from scratch, because the audience knows the plot. Just mention what is going on and then deliver the punch line.
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