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Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.
Robert Orben
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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Need
Lanes
Needs
Grave
Work
Passings
Much
Graves
Smoke
Passing
Road
Drink
Lane
More quotes by Robert Orben
Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
Robert Orben
Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.
Robert Orben
I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
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Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
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In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
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Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
Robert Orben
Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.
Robert Orben
There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
Robert Orben
Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.
Robert Orben
If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
Robert Orben
It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.
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Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
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Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
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There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.
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We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.
Robert Orben
I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
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I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
Robert Orben
Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice.
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For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.
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The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
Robert Orben