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Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.
Robert Orben
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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Rain
Spend
Looks
Different
Like
Vacation
World
Thousands
Parts
Dollars
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Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
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Individuality' is the key to success.
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There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
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If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
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I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
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To exercise is human not to is divine.
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THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
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What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?
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Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.
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The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.
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To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
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Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
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If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.
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Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.
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