Quote

Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.

Robert Orben

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Dollars
Rain
Spend
Looks
Different
Like
Vacation
World
Thousands
Parts

More quotes by Robert Orben

Image
In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
Robert Orben
Image
I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
Robert Orben
Image
President Ford used humor a great deal.
Robert Orben
Image
Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
Robert Orben
Image
I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
Robert Orben
Image
Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
Robert Orben
Image
We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.
Robert Orben
Image
I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
Robert Orben
Image
If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
Robert Orben
Image
The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
Robert Orben
Image
Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
Robert Orben
Image
My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
Robert Orben
Image
Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?
Robert Orben
Image
Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always high, and the results usually disappointing.
Robert Orben
Image
Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?
Robert Orben
Image
The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.
Robert Orben
Image
There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
Robert Orben
Image
You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.
Robert Orben
Image
Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains.... But it can put mountains where there are none. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
Robert Orben
Image
If you can laugh together, you can work together.
Robert Orben