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Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Parts
Dollars
Rain
Spend
Looks
Different
Like
Vacation
World
Thousands

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Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
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Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.
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In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
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Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
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For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.
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We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.
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It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.
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Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like it there's no faking it.
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To exercise is human not to is divine.
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President Ford used humor a great deal.
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There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
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They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.
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