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Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Different
Like
Vacation
World
Thousands
Parts
Dollars
Rain
Spend
Looks

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Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
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Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?
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President Ford used humor a great deal.
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Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
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Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
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If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.
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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
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My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
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Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
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I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
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There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
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I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
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The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.
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Anybody with a good sense of humor is one-up on their competition. We respond to somebody who has the ability to make us laugh. It's a bonding influence.
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Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
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Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
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To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
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Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains.... But it can put mountains where there are none. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
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