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I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Boxers
Shorts
Underneath
Wearing
Clothes
Use
Boxer
Warn

More quotes by Robert Orben

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Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
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President Ford used humor a great deal.
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If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.
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Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.
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I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.
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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
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They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.
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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
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I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
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THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
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The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
Robert Orben
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Individuality' is the key to success.
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Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'
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For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.
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It always seems to someone outside the business that it is very difficult to write for a comedy show because it must be done quickly. Actually, it is much easier to write this humor than to do a joke or a show from scratch, because the audience knows the plot. Just mention what is going on and then deliver the punch line.
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Lincoln was known to have walked miles to borrow books, to get the most rudimentary form of education. So what do we do on his birthday? We close the schools!
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To exercise is human not to is divine.
Robert Orben
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Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
Robert Orben
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Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always high, and the results usually disappointing.
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It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.
Robert Orben