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Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Travel
Realize
Realizing
American
Tourists
Past
Foreigners
Home
Sixty
Able
French
Years
Drive

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Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like it there's no faking it.
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To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
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The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.
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Wait'll next year! is the favorite cry of baseball fans, football fans, hockey fans, and gardeners.
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Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
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A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.
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Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
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They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.
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Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.
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The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
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Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
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Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'
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The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.
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Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?
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I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there's never one around.
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There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
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Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
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With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!
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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
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If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
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