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Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
American
Tourists
Past
Foreigners
Home
Sixty
Able
French
Years
Drive
Travel
Realize
Realizing

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It always seems to someone outside the business that it is very difficult to write for a comedy show because it must be done quickly. Actually, it is much easier to write this humor than to do a joke or a show from scratch, because the audience knows the plot. Just mention what is going on and then deliver the punch line.
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I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
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Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
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Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
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Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.
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Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
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To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
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A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.
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Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
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The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
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Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.
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I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
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Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains.... But it can put mountains where there are none. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
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The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
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Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.
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Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
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Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.
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In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
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