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Lincoln was known to have walked miles to borrow books, to get the most rudimentary form of education. So what do we do on his birthday? We close the schools!

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Book
Miles
Close
Modern
Rudimentary
Education
Borrow
Books
Lincoln
Known
Walked
Form
Birthday
School
Schools

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There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
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Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains.... But it can put mountains where there are none. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
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The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
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The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.
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Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.
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Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
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If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
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I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
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To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
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Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
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Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
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In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
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Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.
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Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
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Anybody with a good sense of humor is one-up on their competition. We respond to somebody who has the ability to make us laugh. It's a bonding influence.
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Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
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Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.
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You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.
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Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.
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Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'
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