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Lincoln was known to have walked miles to borrow books, to get the most rudimentary form of education. So what do we do on his birthday? We close the schools!

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
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Modern
Rudimentary
Education
Borrow
Books
Lincoln
Known
Walked
Form
Birthday
School
Schools
Book
Miles

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It always seems to someone outside the business that it is very difficult to write for a comedy show because it must be done quickly. Actually, it is much easier to write this humor than to do a joke or a show from scratch, because the audience knows the plot. Just mention what is going on and then deliver the punch line.
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To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
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When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.
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A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.
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Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
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The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.
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There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
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Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
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They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.
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I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
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Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.
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We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally, I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.
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Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
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Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.
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Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
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The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
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Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
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