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Lincoln was known to have walked miles to borrow books, to get the most rudimentary form of education. So what do we do on his birthday? We close the schools!

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Books
Lincoln
Known
Walked
Form
Birthday
School
Schools
Book
Miles
Close
Modern
Rudimentary
Education
Borrow

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It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.
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My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
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A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.
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If you can laugh together, you can work together.
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Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
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The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.
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Anybody with a good sense of humor is one-up on their competition. We respond to somebody who has the ability to make us laugh. It's a bonding influence.
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It always seems to someone outside the business that it is very difficult to write for a comedy show because it must be done quickly. Actually, it is much easier to write this humor than to do a joke or a show from scratch, because the audience knows the plot. Just mention what is going on and then deliver the punch line.
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They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.
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Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like it there's no faking it.
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Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains.... But it can put mountains where there are none. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
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As much as we admire all the characteristics of a Ronald Reagan, as soon as something goes wrong, people will hate those same characteristics.
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President Ford used humor a great deal.
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Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.
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The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
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Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.
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With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!
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You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.
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