Quote

They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Value
Modern
Asks
Five
Values
Kids
Dollar
Today
Dollars
Certainly

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To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
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Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
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I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
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Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'
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With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!
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Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
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Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
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There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.
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Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
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For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.
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Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
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Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.
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If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.
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I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
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The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
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We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally, I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.
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Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.
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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
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I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
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It always seems to someone outside the business that it is very difficult to write for a comedy show because it must be done quickly. Actually, it is much easier to write this humor than to do a joke or a show from scratch, because the audience knows the plot. Just mention what is going on and then deliver the punch line.
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