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They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Modern
Asks
Five
Values
Kids
Dollar
Today
Dollars
Certainly
Value

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Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.
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Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
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The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
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THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
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The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.
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Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.
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Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
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Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
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President Ford used humor a great deal.
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We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally, I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.
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Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
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To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
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There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.
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Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains.... But it can put mountains where there are none. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
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Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
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Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
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I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.
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I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
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There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
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I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
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