Quote

They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Kids
Dollar
Today
Dollars
Certainly
Value
Modern
Asks
Five
Values

More quotes by Robert Orben

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I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
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With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!
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They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.
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The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.
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Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
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Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
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Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.
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Wait'll next year! is the favorite cry of baseball fans, football fans, hockey fans, and gardeners.
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Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice.
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Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.
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The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
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President Ford used humor a great deal.
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Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like it there's no faking it.
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Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
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Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.
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Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'
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To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
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I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
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