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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Wells
Mines
Well
Mine
Would
Certainly
Economists
Turn
Disappoint
Economy
Quarter
Turns
Economist
Lasts
Quarters
Last
Hasn

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Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like it there's no faking it.
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The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
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We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.
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It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.
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Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.
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Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.
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You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.
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Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
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I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
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A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.
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I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
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Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
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Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.
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Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?
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It always seems to someone outside the business that it is very difficult to write for a comedy show because it must be done quickly. Actually, it is much easier to write this humor than to do a joke or a show from scratch, because the audience knows the plot. Just mention what is going on and then deliver the punch line.
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Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
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It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.
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If you can laugh together, you can work together.
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I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
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