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It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Raise
Raises
Amazing
Jobs
Important
Unimportant

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A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.
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When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.
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Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.
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Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
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Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like it there's no faking it.
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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
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Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
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To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
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You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.
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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
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Lincoln was known to have walked miles to borrow books, to get the most rudimentary form of education. So what do we do on his birthday? We close the schools!
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Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
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Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
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Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
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We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally, I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.
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Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.
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The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.
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Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?
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Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
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Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
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