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It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Unimportant
Raise
Raises
Amazing
Jobs
Important

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Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
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To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
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Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always high, and the results usually disappointing.
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Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.
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The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
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To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
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As much as we admire all the characteristics of a Ronald Reagan, as soon as something goes wrong, people will hate those same characteristics.
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They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.
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Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
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President Ford used humor a great deal.
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Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
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It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.
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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
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You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.
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I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
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Live your life so that if someone says 'Be yourself' it's good advice.
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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
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Anybody with a good sense of humor is one-up on their competition. We respond to somebody who has the ability to make us laugh. It's a bonding influence.
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To exercise is human not to is divine.
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