Quote

I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.

Robert Orben

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Fight
Wife
Called
Procrastinator
Year
Addressing
Fighting
Cards
Left
Christmas
Years
Finished
Terrible

More quotes by Robert Orben

Image
A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.
Robert Orben
Image
We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally, I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.
Robert Orben
Image
Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains.... But it can put mountains where there are none. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
Robert Orben
Image
You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.
Robert Orben
Image
Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
Robert Orben
Image
I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
Robert Orben
Image
I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
Robert Orben
Image
The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
Robert Orben
Image
Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
Robert Orben
Image
Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.
Robert Orben
Image
Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.
Robert Orben
Image
Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.
Robert Orben
Image
Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.
Robert Orben
Image
Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.
Robert Orben
Image
The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
Robert Orben
Image
It always seems to someone outside the business that it is very difficult to write for a comedy show because it must be done quickly. Actually, it is much easier to write this humor than to do a joke or a show from scratch, because the audience knows the plot. Just mention what is going on and then deliver the punch line.
Robert Orben
Image
There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.
Robert Orben
Image
As much as we admire all the characteristics of a Ronald Reagan, as soon as something goes wrong, people will hate those same characteristics.
Robert Orben
Image
If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
Robert Orben
Image
Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always high, and the results usually disappointing.
Robert Orben