Quote

I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Years
Finished
Terrible
Fight
Wife
Called
Procrastinator
Year
Addressing
Fighting
Cards
Left
Christmas

More quotes by Robert Orben

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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
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The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
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I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
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Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?
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We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally, I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.
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You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.
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Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains.... But it can put mountains where there are none. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
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If you can laugh together, you can work together.
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I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
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Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.
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Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
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If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.
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If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
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I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there's never one around.
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In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
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Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.
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Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
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Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
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President Ford used humor a great deal.
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