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Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Firsts
First
Diet
Thing
Noticed
Diets
Temper
Health
Lose
Loses

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When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.
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Anybody with a good sense of humor is one-up on their competition. We respond to somebody who has the ability to make us laugh. It's a bonding influence.
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Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
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I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.
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President Ford used humor a great deal.
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For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.
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Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
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Wait'll next year! is the favorite cry of baseball fans, football fans, hockey fans, and gardeners.
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The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
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Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.
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There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.
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A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.
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Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
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As much as we admire all the characteristics of a Ronald Reagan, as soon as something goes wrong, people will hate those same characteristics.
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Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.
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We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally, I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.
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We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.
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Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
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Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
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THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
Robert Orben