Quote

I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there's never one around.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Every
Twenty
Years
Twenties
Never
Morning
Like
Year
Around
May
Feel
Unfortunately
Feels
Forty

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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
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The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.
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To exercise is human not to is divine.
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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
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Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.
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Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.
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I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
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I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
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My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
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The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
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To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
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Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
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Anybody with a good sense of humor is one-up on their competition. We respond to somebody who has the ability to make us laugh. It's a bonding influence.
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If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.
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To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
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If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
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President Ford used humor a great deal.
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Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.
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Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like it there's no faking it.
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What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?
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