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I may be forty, but every morning when I get up, I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately, there's never one around.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Never
Morning
Like
Year
Around
May
Feel
Unfortunately
Feels
Forty
Every
Twenty
Years
Twenties

More quotes by Robert Orben

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My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
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It always seems to someone outside the business that it is very difficult to write for a comedy show because it must be done quickly. Actually, it is much easier to write this humor than to do a joke or a show from scratch, because the audience knows the plot. Just mention what is going on and then deliver the punch line.
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Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.
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Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
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Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?
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I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
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Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always high, and the results usually disappointing.
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What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?
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Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.
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Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
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Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains.... But it can put mountains where there are none. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
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It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.
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Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.
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I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.
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Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
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Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
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I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
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A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.
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Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.
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Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
Robert Orben