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The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Calendar
Playboy
Calendars
Models
Year
Years

More quotes by Robert Orben

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Wait'll next year! is the favorite cry of baseball fans, football fans, hockey fans, and gardeners.
Robert Orben
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I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
Robert Orben
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In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
Robert Orben
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Lincoln was known to have walked miles to borrow books, to get the most rudimentary form of education. So what do we do on his birthday? We close the schools!
Robert Orben
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Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.
Robert Orben
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Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
Robert Orben
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I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
Robert Orben
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Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.
Robert Orben
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Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?
Robert Orben
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With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!
Robert Orben
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If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
Robert Orben
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Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
Robert Orben
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The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
Robert Orben
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Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
Robert Orben
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Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
Robert Orben
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I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
Robert Orben
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Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
Robert Orben
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It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.
Robert Orben
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As much as we admire all the characteristics of a Ronald Reagan, as soon as something goes wrong, people will hate those same characteristics.
Robert Orben
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THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
Robert Orben