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The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Calendar
Playboy
Calendars
Models
Year
Years

More quotes by Robert Orben

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I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
Robert Orben
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Lincoln was known to have walked miles to borrow books, to get the most rudimentary form of education. So what do we do on his birthday? We close the schools!
Robert Orben
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If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.
Robert Orben
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To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
Robert Orben
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We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.
Robert Orben
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I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
Robert Orben
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We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally, I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.
Robert Orben
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There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.
Robert Orben
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To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Robert Orben
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You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.
Robert Orben
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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
Robert Orben
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Happiness is contagious. Be a carrier!!
Robert Orben
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Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?
Robert Orben
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When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.
Robert Orben
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Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
Robert Orben
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THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
Robert Orben
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The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
Robert Orben
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With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!
Robert Orben
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Anybody with a good sense of humor is one-up on their competition. We respond to somebody who has the ability to make us laugh. It's a bonding influence.
Robert Orben
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There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
Robert Orben