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If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Somebody
Crooks
Story
Protest
Stories
Joke
Matter
Comic
Take
Jokes
People
Demand
Prove
Accuses
Says
Crook

More quotes by Robert Orben

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There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there.
Robert Orben
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In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
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Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
Robert Orben
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To reduce stress, avoid excitement. Spend more time with your spouse.
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Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?
Robert Orben
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Wait'll next year! is the favorite cry of baseball fans, football fans, hockey fans, and gardeners.
Robert Orben
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I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
Robert Orben
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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
Robert Orben
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Anybody with a good sense of humor is one-up on their competition. We respond to somebody who has the ability to make us laugh. It's a bonding influence.
Robert Orben
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Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.
Robert Orben
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Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.
Robert Orben
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Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
Robert Orben
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Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
Robert Orben
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I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
Robert Orben
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Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
Robert Orben
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Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
Robert Orben
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I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
Robert Orben
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I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.
Robert Orben
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It may be the way the cookie crumbles on Madison Avenue, but in Hong Kong its the way the egg rolls.
Robert Orben
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Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.
Robert Orben