Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?
Robert Orben
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Somebody
Crooks
Story
Protest
Stories
Joke
Matter
Comic
Take
Jokes
People
Demand
Prove
Accuses
Says
Crook
More quotes by Robert Orben
Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
Robert Orben
Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains.... But it can put mountains where there are none. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
Robert Orben
To exercise is human not to is divine.
Robert Orben
Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
Robert Orben
My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.
Robert Orben
Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
Robert Orben
It always seems to someone outside the business that it is very difficult to write for a comedy show because it must be done quickly. Actually, it is much easier to write this humor than to do a joke or a show from scratch, because the audience knows the plot. Just mention what is going on and then deliver the punch line.
Robert Orben
In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
Robert Orben
Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
Robert Orben
I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
Robert Orben
Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.
Robert Orben
Lincoln was known to have walked miles to borrow books, to get the most rudimentary form of education. So what do we do on his birthday? We close the schools!
Robert Orben
Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.
Robert Orben
Individuality' is the key to success.
Robert Orben
Have you noticed when you go on a diet, the first thing you lose is your temper.
Robert Orben
To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Robert Orben
Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.
Robert Orben
Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave - but there's no need to be in the passing lane.
Robert Orben
I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
Robert Orben
Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
Robert Orben