Quote

If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Story
Protest
Stories
Joke
Matter
Comic
Take
Jokes
People
Demand
Prove
Accuses
Says
Crook
Somebody
Crooks

More quotes by Robert Orben

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I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.
Robert Orben
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I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
Robert Orben
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Vacation: When you spend thousands of dollars to see what rain looks like in different parts of the world.
Robert Orben
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Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
Robert Orben
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I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
Robert Orben
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We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.
Robert Orben
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What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?
Robert Orben
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Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
Robert Orben
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You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.
Robert Orben
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In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
Robert Orben
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I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
Robert Orben
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President Ford used humor a great deal.
Robert Orben
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For Father's Day, my kids always give me a bottle of cologne called English Leather. It's appropriate! To them I always smell like a wallet.
Robert Orben
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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
Robert Orben
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When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.
Robert Orben
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To exercise is human not to is divine.
Robert Orben
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Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.
Robert Orben
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The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
Robert Orben
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As much as we admire all the characteristics of a Ronald Reagan, as soon as something goes wrong, people will hate those same characteristics.
Robert Orben
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Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?
Robert Orben