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Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Figures
Living
Ever
Bounces
Good
Bounce
Time
Bank
Check
Checks
Figure

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The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.
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We have enough people who tell it like it is - now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.
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As much as we admire all the characteristics of a Ronald Reagan, as soon as something goes wrong, people will hate those same characteristics.
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The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
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Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.
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Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains.... But it can put mountains where there are none. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
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Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
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We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally, I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.
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Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
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I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
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There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
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Lincoln was known to have walked miles to borrow books, to get the most rudimentary form of education. So what do we do on his birthday? We close the schools!
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Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like it there's no faking it.
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Do you realize what would happen if Moses were alive today? He'd go up to Mount Sinai, come back with the Ten Commandments, and spend the next eight years trying to get published.
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Individuality' is the key to success.
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A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.
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Sociologists say that going to the movies is a bonding experience. It probably has to do with the way you feet stick to the floor.
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Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.
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