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Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Figures
Living
Ever
Bounces
Good
Bounce
Time
Bank
Check
Checks
Figure

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As much as we admire all the characteristics of a Ronald Reagan, as soon as something goes wrong, people will hate those same characteristics.
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Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
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Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.
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All that means is that something devastating can happen to you today or to your family & all you can do is cry about it or panic or just be grief-stricken about it but a year or two from now or maybe ten years from now, or maybe two months or two days, you might be able to see the humor in that problem.
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I'm beginning to wonder about my broker. Yesterday I told him to buy a hundred shares of A.T.&T. He said, 'Would you spell that?'
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The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
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Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
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I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
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Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.
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Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always high, and the results usually disappointing.
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Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
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I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.
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Individuality' is the key to success.
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They say kids today don't know the value of a dollar. They certainly do know the value of a dollar. That's why they ask for five.
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Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
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Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
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We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally, I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.
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Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, Guess Who? She's a divorce lawyer.
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Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.
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The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.
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