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You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.

Robert Orben

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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Writing
Alan
Instructions
Chair
Instruction
Chairs
Beach
Wouldn
Write
Assembling

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The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they'd tip.
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In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.
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Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains.... But it can put mountains where there are none. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
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It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.
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Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
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The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
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Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.
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We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally, I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.
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Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
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Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.
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I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.
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Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
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What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?
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It always seems to someone outside the business that it is very difficult to write for a comedy show because it must be done quickly. Actually, it is much easier to write this humor than to do a joke or a show from scratch, because the audience knows the plot. Just mention what is going on and then deliver the punch line.
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Do you realize that in the past sixty years, the only foreigners the French have been able to drive out are American tourists?
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I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
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If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.
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To exercise is human not to is divine.
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Did you ever figure to be living in a time when your check is good, but the bank bounces?
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Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations are always high, and the results usually disappointing.
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