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The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.
Robert Orben
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Robert Orben
Age: 96
Born: 1928
Born: March 4
Magician
Writer
the United States of America
Ahead
Comedy
Secret
Writing
Going
More quotes by Robert Orben
The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.
Robert Orben
Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
Robert Orben
The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.
Robert Orben
I don't want to say anything about my kids...but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!
Robert Orben
A toast to the weapons of war, may they rust in peace.
Robert Orben
They're combining that new fertility drug with a birth control pill for people who don't want triplets.
Robert Orben
Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.
Robert Orben
To exercise is human not to is divine.
Robert Orben
When we laugh we temporarily give ourselves over to the person who makes us laugh.
Robert Orben
Humor is the most honest of emotions. Applause for a speech can be insincere, but with humor, if the audience doesn't like it there's no faking it.
Robert Orben
Wait'll next year! is the favorite cry of baseball fans, football fans, hockey fans, and gardeners.
Robert Orben
Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
Robert Orben
Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'
Robert Orben
Sports like baseball, basketball, and hockey develop muscles. That's why Americans have the strongest eyes in the world.
Robert Orben
I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.
Robert Orben
You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.
Robert Orben
Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.
Robert Orben
Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.
Robert Orben
There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
Robert Orben
THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.
Robert Orben